Egg meets up with a gaggle of sperm in the dark hallway of my fallopian tube and one brave sperm steps forward with a, "Hey, how you doin'?" And about three seconds late my uterus doubles in size.

This belly of mine is round and full of flutters and kicks these days. The Monster says it looks like I ate 39 hotdogs and 50 apples. It's okay, my ass balances it out.

But those 39 hotdogs and 50 apples make it extraordinarily hard to baste a quilt on my living room floor. Alone, just me and my belly. It took me an hour longer than usual for this lap size quilt. And Hubby isn't even home to help.